A Hard Man to Love Page 4

  “This isn’t any easier for me than it is for you. I didn’t plan to get married anytime soon, if ever. I’m trying to make the best of a bad situation.”

  She flinched.

  “I didn’t mean that the way it came out . . . but neither one of us planned this. Right?”

  The undertone in the question caught her attention. “Are you suggesting I planned to get pregnant?”

  His eyes surveyed her thoughtfully. “You told me you couldn’t get pregnant.”

  “After you had already—” She broke off midsentence. The memory of how he’d taken her flashed through her mind.

  He’d shown up unannounced to her apartment late one night after he’d already told her he couldn’t come to town. She’d been excited by his unexpected visit, and he’d been edgy and extra amorous. In their haste, they’d been careless. They discussed the fact they hadn’t used a condom, and she bared her soul and told him she couldn’t get pregnant.

  To her surprise, he hadn’t expressed any concern over her infertility. But then, why would he, when there was never the expectation of a future together?

  “You showed up at my apartment without notice and practically tore my clothes off,” Eva said.

  “I didn’t hear you complaining when it happened. Are you saying you didn’t like it?” he asked, his tone soft and gravelly, spreading unwelcome warmth through every limb.

  “I’m saying you didn’t use a condom,” Eva replied in a firm voice. “No matter what I said afterward, you have to at least accept partial blame.”

  The waitress appeared beside their table and provided a temporary reprieve from the intense conversation. “Ma’am, would you like to order from the menu, or will you have the buffet this morning?” She topped off Derrick’s coffee.

  Grateful for the interruption, Eva shook her head. “I won’t be eating, thank you.”

  “Have you had any breakfast?” Derrick asked sharply.

  “No, but I’m fine.”

  “You should have something. You’re eating for two now.”

  As if she didn’t know. “I’m fine.”

  “At least have a drink—coffee or tea. What do pregnant women drink?”

  To quiet him, she turned to the waitress. “I’ll have a glass of milk.”

  “Anything else?” the woman asked.

  Eva shook her head.

  Derrick sipped his coffee. “I guess we both got carried away that night,” he said, replacing the cup in the saucer.

  He remembered the night and the days afterward well. It was the last time she let him touch her. Here he sat only feet away and was still denied the luxury. He had set the rules for their relationship. They were the same ones he had lived by for years, yet it had driven him crazy to think she was spending time with someone else when he wasn’t around. A completely irrational response he couldn’t comprehend to this day.

  “Considering we’re no longer together,” Eva began slowly, “what kind of marriage will we have?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, um . . . will the relationship dynamics still be the same?” She asked the question with difficulty, seeming ill at ease.

  Derrick stiffened. She couldn’t be asking what he thought. “You mean, will I allow another man to touch my wife and the mother of my child? Will I allow my wife to have sex with other men?” Tension coursed through his body as he practically snarled the questions in his fury. “What do you think?”

  Her eyes grew wide in her face. “I didn’t mean me. I was talking about you. I assumed . . .”

  His eyebrows dipped low over his eyes. “Assumed what? I would want to have sex with other women after we’re married?”

  “I-I wasn’t sure. We had an open relationship. I don’t know what your expectations are, Derrick.”

  “My expectations,” he said, underlining the words in an acerbic tone, “are that we both respect the covenant of our marriage once we say our vows. Marriage isn’t something to enter into lightly, where you get to change your mind after a couple of years, or sleep with other people when you’re in the mood to try something different.”

  As the product of an extramarital affair, he understood the devastation it could cause. His parents ended their affair once it was discovered and his biological father was forced to choose between his wife and family and his mistress and illegitimate son. He chose his wife and family, but eventually, he and Derrick’s mother became involved again, the proof provided when, after the plane crash that claimed their lives, the passenger manifest showed they’d been seated next to each other.

  “I never . . .” Eva’s mouth clamped shut. “Are you saying you expect this to be a normal marriage?”

  His gaze didn’t waver. “In every way.”

  Comprehension dawned in her eyes as the meaning of his words sunk in. They took on a slumberous quality, as no doubt the same thoughts going through his mind went through hers. She lowered her gaze to the table, but he’d already seen the heated look she tried to hide.

  He knew that look. He’d drawn it from her on many occasions.

  “I can’t believe you expect us to sleep together when we can barely tolerate each other at this point. I thought you’d want to continue the same as before—with the option to see other people. I have to admit, I’m surprised.” The lowered, breathy sound of her voice stirred his loins into awareness.

  “I don’t see why. You didn’t end up pregnant through Immaculate Conception. Are you sure you weren’t interested in keeping your options open for yourself? Maybe you’re seeing someone?” If she was, he would insist the relationship end today.

  “No. Like I said, I assumed you would—”

  “You assumed wrong, and you know what they say happens when you assume.” Derrick lounged back in his chair. “Why should we deprive ourselves? Right from the beginning, it’s been good between us.”

  “You have to admit, this will be a strange union.” She paused, watching him intently, weighing the next words before she said them. “What if I say I’ll need time to get used to the idea? You can’t expect us to fall back into bed with each other just like that.”

  “Why not?” He lowered his gaze to the telltale pulse hammering at the base of her neck, and he shifted to alleviate the strain of an erection pressing on the fabric of his trousers. Carnal thoughts of her dark, naked body wriggling under him raced through his mind. He had to get this simmering need for her under control. The combined lure of her slender, agile body and her personality were a powerful aphrodisiac. He lifted his eyes back to her face. “I can tell you want me right now, even though you’d like to deny it.”

  “That’s your ego talking.”

  Amused, he whispered, “Are you sure you’ll be able to abstain? I know you, Eva. You enjoy sex too much.” What an understatement. She was a tigress in bed, uninhibited, and willing to offer pleasure in the equal amounts she took.

  “You make it sound like I’m sex crazed!” she said hotly.

  He smiled knowingly, which only infuriated her more, because her lips pressed together in displeasure. “I know what you sound like when you’re turned on, and I can hear a little bit of it in your voice right now.”

  “Maybe you’re turned on and you’re trying to deflect your feelings off on me.” She pulled in a shaky breath. “I’m only asking for a little time. If we want this marriage to be successful, there has to be an equal amount of give-and-take on both sides.”

  Derrick sat up, speaking slowly for the sake of clarity. “There’s no fifty-fifty in marriage, and you’d be a fool to try to keep score. Equality in marriage is a myth spread on talk shows and in relationship books. The truth is, husbands and wives should treat marriage like they’re running a business. It’s a negotiation, a give-and-take, yes, but not in equal amounts. Like in business, each person is always trying to get the upper hand.”

  “No, that’s the world you live in, but most people see marriage as a partnership.”

  He laughed and shook his head. “N
o, sweetheart, that’s the world we live in.” A pause. “Here’s the part where the give-and-take comes in. I’ll give you time to get used to the idea of us being married, but I’m not waiting forever.”

  A guarded look filled her eyes. “How much time are you going to give me?”

  “As little time as possible.”

  “Has anyone ever told you that you have a heart of stone?”

  A smile broadened across his face. “I’ve heard it a time or two. Thanks for the compliment.”

  He admired her gumption, but she had no idea who she was dealing with. Her little insults didn’t trouble him because he had the upper hand and would eventually get what he wanted.

  She may have ended their relationship, but she craved him just as much as he craved her. He would go along with her wishes for now. His eyes moved lower to her beautiful breasts. He’d already waited four months, and work kept him fairly busy.

  He could handle a few more weeks.

  Chapter Five

  Mrs. Derrick Hoffman.

  Mrs. Eva Hoffman.

  Mrs. Eva Jacob-Hoffman.

  Eva twisted the platinum ring with its pear-shaped yellow diamond around and around on her finger. As promised, only two weeks after Derrick came to see her on St. Simons Island, she stood ready to get married. Her image reflected back to her from the full-length mirror in a suite at Chateau Élan, a thirty-five-hundred-acre winery and resort located forty minutes north of Atlanta in the Georgia foothills.

  Putting together a wedding on such short notice was not an easy feat, but when you had plenty of money at your disposal, seemingly impossible feats could be surmounted with a phone call from skilled assistants. The chateau was usually booked years in advance, but the offhand comment she’d made to one of the coordinators about it being the idyllic setting for a wedding had magically resulted in an opening. Marrying Derrick Hoffman offered more privileges than she realized.

  She and Derrick had hardly spoken since they met on St. Simons Island. He remained tied up in meetings and putting out fires at the company. Much of their communication existed as texts and voice mails. For the most part, he let her plan the wedding, but a few times he overrode her suggestions, insisting that she spend more money. Outside of those few times, the decisions were made with the help of the wedding planners and Kallie.

  Their lack of contact didn’t bode well for their marriage. While she should consider it a plus because it allowed her to build up a wall of protection against her feelings for him, one small part of her couldn’t fathom them continuing in the same vein and having a healthy relationship. Especially since he expected them to have a real marriage.

  Kallie appeared beside her in a strapless amber-colored bridesmaid dress, concern in her blue eyes. “You okay?”

  Her friend wore that look often in the past couple of weeks, and she wanted to allay her fears. As she’d pointed out a couple of weeks ago, it could be worse. “Of course. I’m getting married today.” She didn’t quite accomplish the cheery voice she’d hoped to, and Kallie’s eyes filled with sympathy.

  Kallie rested her hands on Eva’s bare shoulders. “This is it. Last chance to change your mind.”

  Eva smiled. They both knew she couldn’t go back. To go back meant fighting Derrick in court and possibly losing her baby, and she couldn’t take the risk.

  Derrick had made sure movers had all her belongings packed up and in the house, where she would sort them out later. Her mother’s family had been flown in on commercial flights to attend the wedding, and an uncle on her mother’s side was to walk her down the aisle.

  Her mother had been a teen parent and single mother who’d told her a long time ago her father hadn’t wanted a child, so she didn’t know who her father was or anyone from his side of the family. Unfortunately, her mother died with the information about her father and where he lived.

  She only had a first name and an old photo found hidden away in her mother’s personal items after her death. Although she hadn’t planned to keep Derrick and his child apart in the same way, her familial circumstances provided another solid reason to submit to his wishes. Her conscience wouldn’t allow her to keep them separated when she understood the empty ache she felt in her own life because she’d never known her father.

  “We both know leaving isn’t an option,” she said, fondling the necklace cushioned against her bosom.

  She’d chosen the bridesmaid dresses to match the amber stone in the pendant. The pendant and the necklace it hung from had been the first piece of jewelry she’d received as a little girl. They’d never had much, but her mother had always made sure she was comfortable, and every now and again, they splurged on little luxuries.

  The necklace had been a luxury. When she’d received it, she’d felt so grown-up. After her mother’s passing, she’d worn it more often in an effort to feel closer to her. Eva regretted her mother wasn’t alive to see the birth of her grandchild, or to see her daughter get married, even if it wasn’t for love.

  A soft knock preceded one of the other two bridesmaids poking her head through the door. “It’s time.”

  Eva took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. She took one last look at herself as a single woman. The sweetheart neckline of the dress showed off her slender neck and collarbone. She smoothed her hand over the layered organza skirt and made a final adjustment to the amber-colored satin sash wound around her waist.

  “Okay, I’m ready.”

  ****

  “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” At Pastor Jamison’s words, Derrick lifted Eva’s veil.

  The ceremony went by even faster than he’d anticipated. It never ceased to amaze him how a wedding caused so much stress, but the ceremony took less than thirty minutes to complete. Had it been up to him, they would have had a small civil ceremony, but he’d wanted to give Eva a little bit of what she undoubtedly had hoped for, and had instructed the coordinators to get her anything she wanted. No request was unreasonable.

  Eva made the majority of the decisions, and he hadn’t thought much about the wedding during the preceding days, too busy concentrating on the task of sorting out his father’s business affairs. But when he’d seen her walking down the aisle on her uncle’s arm, all extraneous thoughts fled his mind, and he concentrated solely on the vision coming toward him.

  The sudden clenching of his stomach had taken him aback. A fierce possessiveness filled him as he watched her move slowly, bouquet in hand, smiling sweetly at their guests beneath the lace veil. Right then he’d decided he’d made the right decision to make her his wife, and any remnants of doubt left his mind. They may not be in love, but they had chemistry. Plenty of marriages survived on less.

  With the sole intention of giving her a quick peck on the lips, he lowered his head. But his memory had failed him, because when had he ever been able to touch her and quickly distance himself? After months without her, today proved no different.

  When he pressed his mouth to hers, a surge of hot hunger swept through him, heating his blood. He lifted his head a fraction, noting her closed eyes, and right away dipped again to taste her soft lips. His hands settled on her bare arms to hold her in place and allow him to prolong the kiss, his mouth lingering over hers. The soft sigh she whispered into his mouth caused the muscles in his body to tense in response, and his hands tightened on her soft flesh.

  His tongue made a gentle foray into her mouth. When she allowed him entry, he swept in past her teeth and delved deeper to stroke with unerring skill along the inside of her cheeks and the roof of her mouth, making an erotic promise of future pleasures to come. Subconsciously he knew this wasn’t the time or place, but she had cut him off abruptly and for so long. This was the first time in months he’d had a taste of her, and he couldn’t get enough.

  His loins pulsed and ached, and he felt her hands reach up between them, flattening against his chest as if to stave off the attack on her body he very nearly perpetrated in front of their guests.


  The sound of knowing snickers and Pastor Jamison clearing his throat permeated Derrick’s heated brain and brought him back to the present. Eva must have heard them, too, because she withdrew at almost the same instant he did and pressed the tips of her fingers to her mouth.

  Derrick dragged his tongue across his lower lip, relishing the fading taste of her as she averted her eyes. Her uneven breaths drew his gaze to her full bosom. What he wouldn’t give to get her alone right then.

  What the hell was it about her that had him so strung out? He’d almost mounted her in front of hundreds of people.

  The pastor cleared his throat again and made the customary announcement to all the guests. “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Derrick Hoffman!”

  Chapter Six

  From his seat at the bar, Derrick watched his half brother, Roarke Hawthorne, walk up with his stepdaughter, Arianna, in his arms. An outsider would never guess he wasn’t her biological father. They had become close in a short time.

  The six-year-old had been running around with some of the other kids, but her sagging body and head on Roarke’s shoulder indicated she was done for the night. She was cute, wearing a lavender dress and her hair in two big Afro puffs held in place with lavender and white ribbons.

  He scanned the ballroom, filled with empty round tables because most of the guests had already left. The band played a sultry song, and a few couples swayed to the music on the dance floor. The wedding decorations included colorful floral arrangements in the middle of each table and amber and blue decorations throughout the room—not blue, teal, they’d told him, as if it mattered.

  Each guest left with two bottles of wine from the Chateau Élan vineyard. The bottles, bearing a customized label with Derrick and Eva’s names and the date of the wedding, were individually wrapped in mesh bags tied at the top with ribbon.