Wild Thoughts Read online

  Something flashed across her face. Fear. He was certain of it, but then she said, “You can’t drop me. I drop you.”

  Malik laughed. “You can’t even accept when you’re being dumped. And I’m the pathetic one.” He marched off, leaving her to remain in the same spot. But he couldn’t leave her out there alone in the dark parking lot, waiting for a ride.

  He folded his arms and leaned against the truck. She glanced back at him once and then turned around and ignored him. Meanwhile, anger festered within him.

  The car she requested pulled up, and she glanced back at him one more time. She opened her mouth to speak, but then seemed to think better of it, and dived into the back seat of the sedan. She closed the door and they drove away.

  Malik kept his eyes on the vehicle until it was out of sight.

  Chapter 21

  Life sucked.

  Lindsay watched the Instagram video of Malik and a bunch of other people partying on the rooftop of a hotel. One of those people was Layla, a woman she’d met at the exhibition—someone Malik had only just met, as well. She was an art agent and had taken a liking to Malik, pulling Lindsay aside at one point and asking, “Who is that stud?” before she realized they were together.

  Layla had tagged her in the Instagram video. Bitch.

  Malik had lost the jacket from earlier and unbuttoned the first few buttons on a long-sleeved black shirt that did little to hide his muscular torso and biceps. Coupled with the black slacks, he was devilishly handsome and looked like he was having a good time, drinking bottled beer and winking at the camera when he saw he was being recorded.

  Everyone at the party seemed to be having a good time. Drinking and eating like there was no tomorrow, a thumping rap beat in the background, and plenty of laughter and animated faces crowding the lens of the camera.

  What happened to the quiet guy who never left his house to come into the city? She’d watched as he charmed the gallery owners and their patrons with his sexy smile that always made her want to climb into his lap and kiss his lips for an eternity. Who was this new cosmopolitan male, media savvy and schmoozing the who’s who of the Atlanta art scene?

  Lindsay tossed the phone on the bed and flopped onto her back. She was feeling sorry for herself and shouldn’t. She also shouldn’t have treated Malik the way she did, taking out her insecurities on him. What she’d done was wrong, and all because she was afraid to get hurt again.

  Their relationship had been going along fine. He was attentive and spontaneous, affectionate and kind. But hadn’t Shawn been, as well? There were no guarantees in a relationship, and that’s why it was so hard to make the decision to tell Malik about her father. Because she loved him so much, she was scared he’d hate her when he found out the truth, so it was better to end the relationship now.

  She rolled onto her stomach and stared at the video, frozen on Malik’s smiling face. She traced a fingertip over his lips.

  Was ending their relationship really the better option? Sighing, Lindsay picked up the phone, not knowing if he was still at the party, but knowing she needed to talk to him. Maybe apologize?

  The phone rang several times before Malik answered.

  “Hey.” She hadn’t practiced what she wanted to say, and that was the first word that came to mind.

  “Hey.” Silence in the background.

  “Are you still at the party?”

  “No.”

  “Are you at home?”

  “Yes.”

  Based on his cryptic answers, he was definitely not going to make this call easy for her.

  “I’m sorry about what happened earlier tonight. I was in a bad mood, and I took it out on you.”

  “That’s your explanation?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re sorry, huh? So I should just forgive you then, right?”

  That sounded like a trick question, but she responded in the way she wanted the conversation to go. “Yes.”

  “Well, I have news for you. What you did was rude as hell. Not only did you leave and not join me at the party afterward, you treated me like crap, and it was completely uncalled for. What you said to me was wrong.”

  “I know—”

  “I’m not finished.”

  Lindsay bit her tongue even though she hated that he spoke to her in that tone of voice. She would take the tongue-lashing, for now.

  “I don’t accept your apology. You were rude and inconsiderate. Now that you have what you want, you figure you can just toss me aside. Well you know what? I’m not putting up with it. Your apology was weak, so why don’t we do what we said we were going to do, which is go our separate ways. I’ve made enough contacts now, so I’m good, and your career is on track to only get bigger. We both got what we wanted.”

  “That’s not what I want.” Panicked, she sat up.

  “Then what do you want? Why did you call me?”

  She felt like crying. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

  “When you’re ready to explain yourself, you know how to reach me.”

  Dial tone.

  Her mouth fell open in shock. He hung up on her.

  “You did what?” Nina gaped at Lindsay from the computer screen.

  “You heard me. I picked a fight with him, and we broke up.”

  “You’re not even sure it’s the same Bessie Jones, are you?” Nina asked.

  “Of course, I’m sure,” Lindsay snapped. It was well after midnight but early afternoon in Vietnam, where her sister now resided. She sat cross-legged on the bed, staring at Nina’s face on the laptop.

  When she’d bolted from the restaurant after the conversation with their mother, she’d gone to her office to do research. All the dirt on Abe Steele was still there online. She’d scrolled through the scathing reports, tears filling her eyes because she couldn’t reconcile the man who’d hustled so many people with the man whose blood ran in her veins. She found several articles listing Bessie Jones as one of the victims of his Steele Investments scam, but one article in particular detailed that she’d needed additional cancer treatments and how much money she’d lost. Two of the articles mentioned a son, though they never included Malik’s name because he was a minor at the time. Bessie had died within a year of the last article being written.

  “I want him back.”

  “In that case, you have to tell him.”

  “What if I don’t tell him?”

  “You have to.”

  “But what if I don’t? His mother died thirteen years ago.”

  “According to you, he’s still angry about it. Still hurt and talks about Bessie as if her death took place only weeks ago. You’re making excuses when you know good and well you have to be upfront about what you know.”

  “He’ll probably never find out. I wouldn’t have found out if Mom hadn’t told me.”

  “You’re going to look him in the eye and not tell him, and when he finds out…?”

  “If he finds out, he won’t find out through me. Then I can act just as shocked as he’ll be.”

  “That’s a terrible plan,” Nina muttered.

  “What else am I supposed to do? Say hey, you know I love you, right? Oh, by the way, my father killed your mother.” She twisted the diamond ring on her finger. “Even in death their bond is unbreakable. She raised him alone, and in his eyes, she’s a saint. He said that to me once. A saint, Nina. I feel sick.”

  “Then you’re definitely making a huge mistake. You’re making the case for telling him without any input from me, because when he learns the truth, he’ll never forgive you.”

  “How will he find out?”

  “I don’t know! Maybe you should consider the fact that the person you claim to love should have honesty and openness from you. That includes any previous names.”

  “I haven’t had the Steele name since I was five years old. Does it even matter at this point?”

  Nina looked at her with reproof, but she pretended not to notice. “You’re coming up with some rea
lly weak excuses for why you shouldn’t be honest, and you know you should tell him everything about your past and how his past intersects with yours. Wouldn’t you want Malik to be honest, if he learned important information like you’re keeping from him?”

  She would, but she’d also learned that keeping quiet about her past and her father’s deals meant she avoided disdain and sympathetic glances. It was better than the truth. Keeping quiet allowed people to like you, and as a result, you liked yourself better, too. The more she considered the options, the more she believed there was absolutely no reason why she should share what she knew with Malik.

  “Easy for you to say. You’re halfway around the world, running from so-called problems when you have a great life.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Yes it is! You have everything. Money and a father who loved you. I have nothing.” Tears brimmed in her eyes and spilled over.

  “That’s not true, Lindsay. I love you. Malik loves you. Mom loves you.”

  “Mom loves herself.” Lindsay swiped at her wet cheeks.

  “Lying to him isn’t the answer.”

  “I’m not lying. I’m withholding information. He’s never going to find out.”

  “Stuff like this always comes out.”

  “I’m not gonna tell him!” Lindsay screamed. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she sobbed into her hands.

  She’d lost in the father department and in the mother department, too, since Gloria treated her different than she did Nina because of their different fathers. She’d lost in the love department, at least where Shawn was concerned.

  But finally, she was having a bit of good luck. She had a burgeoning career as a relationship expert and a three-book deal. Her fake relationship with Malik had turned into a real one and became strong and better than she imagined.

  She depended on him. She needed him. She couldn’t lose him. Not now. Not ever. They had to make up.

  “Lindsay…”

  “Why can’t I be happy?” Tears blurred her vision. “Why don’t good things happen to me, too? I lost my dad. I lost Shawn. I lost my job because of Shawn. My life is turning around, and I have a great man. If I tell Malik, he’s gone. I know it.”

  “You’re going to regret your decision. When he finds out, and he will, you’ll lose him.”

  “Then so be it. I’ll take my chances. At least I can enjoy what we have until then. I can’t tell him, Nina. I just can’t.”

  A few minutes later, they hung up.

  Lindsay shoved away the laptop and rolled onto her side.

  You’re beautiful.

  You’re smart.

  You’re a winner.

  You’re strong.

  She was all those things. With or without a man.

  But she wanted this man.

  Chapter 22

  Mug in hand, Malik stepped onto the porch with Daisy right beside him and watched as Lindsay pulled in her car. He hadn’t gone into the workshop for two days because his mind couldn’t rest. All he could think about was her, and every time he did, it triggered pain in his chest and stomach. The same kind of pain he’d experienced when his mother died. He never knew he could miss someone so much, experience such a sense of loss when the person he loved was still alive and well.

  Lindsay parked her convertible beside one of the big trees in the yard and stepped out, apprehension in her hazel eyes. Daisy let out a joyful bark, tail wagging excitedly, and bounded down the steps. She jumped up on her hind legs and almost knocked Lindsay down with her exuberant greeting. Traitor.

  “Hey, girl!” Lindsay showered affection on the dog by rubbing her head and back before coaxing her onto all fours.

  Her gaze flicked over his bare chest and worn jeans. If he’d known she was coming, he would have put a little more effort into his appearance. She, however, looked spectacular. She’d taken the time to create waves in her hair and wore a dark green top and hip-hugging jeans.

  She smoothed her hands down the jeans, and his eyes ate her up, drifting hungrily over the curve of her hips and thighs. He missed her so much. His skin went tight as he wished his hands were the ones sliding over her shapely body.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey.” Affecting a nonchalant pose, Malik rested his shoulder against the porch column and sipped from the white mug in his hand. “What are you doing here?” he asked evenly.

  “The other night you made your point. I understand I was wrong for the things I said at the gallery.”

  Malik took another sip and then rested the cup on the railing. “That’s all you came to say?”

  “What else do you want me to say?”

  “I need an explanation. What happened? We were going along fine, and then all of a sudden you changed the rules of our relationship and accused me of some pretty grimy shit.”

  She shifted from one foot to the other. “I was wrong.”

  “Where did those thoughts come from?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “We need to talk about it.”

  She stared at the ground. “It’s not important.”

  “It’s important to me.”

  “Why are you doing this?” she demanded. “Do you just want to humiliate me?”

  “No, I want to know why you think I was using you. If you think I’m that kind of person, why were you with me?”

  “Forget it. I don’t know why I came. This was a mistake.”

  She took a few steps back to the car, but Malik couldn’t let her leave. He leapt off the porch like an Olympian and caught her as she opened the door. He slammed it shut and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her against his bare chest.

  He needed to make her talk. Force her to explain herself. But first, he pressed his nose into the back of her neck and took a big whiff of her sweet-smelling skin—almonds and springtime. His insides twisted at the familiar fragrance, which he’d missed more than he could ever imagine.

  “Tell me,” he said softly.

  She took a shaky breath. “Maybe…”

  “Maybe what?” She softened in his arms, and he rubbed his beard against her soft cheek. “Talk to me, babe,” he said, his voice low and insistent.

  “Maybe I was scared,” she whispered.

  “Of what?”

  “Losing you. So I figured I would end our relationship first.”

  None of what she was saying made any sense. Malik turned her around to face him and forced her eyes up to his with a finger under her chin. “Why would you lose me?”

  She gave him a trembling smile. “Maybe when you know everything about me, you’ll…take back what you said. You won’t love me anymore.”

  His hands framed her face. “I know you. I know all I need to know about you, but I look forward to learning more. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could ever make me stop loving you. I never expected to feel this way, Lindsay, but you’re the one. “

  She blinked rapidly to keep back tears. “Malik…”

  “I mean it. You don’t have to be afraid of me hurting you, babe. I’m not like Shawn or any other man you’ve had problems with. Okay?”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  He smiled. “Was that so hard?”

  She laughed shakily. “Harder than you think. I’ve never felt this way.”

  “What way? Vulnerable?”

  “Something like that,” she mumbled.

  “Want to know something?”

  “What?”

  His thumb gently rubbed her jawline. “I’m not used to it either. You drive me crazy.”

  She smiled at that.

  “Oh, you like that, huh?” he said.

  “Maybe a little bit.” She bit her lip.

  He slid his arm around her waist and tugged her close, sliding the other arm around the back of her neck. “Damn, I missed you. You really put a brother through it, you know that?”

  “Me?” Her voice was muffled in his neck. “I didn’t think you’d forgive me.”

  “I was
coming around. I needed you to think for a few days.”

  “And miss you?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Meanie.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Can we spend the rest of the day together?”

  “My whole day belongs to you.”

  She grinned. “What about your girlfriend, Layla?”

  “She’s not my girlfriend. You’re my girlfriend, and the only woman I want.” He planted a wet, hungry kiss on her lips. Man, she tasted good.

  “Make sure she knows that. She tagged me in a video of you guys partying that she posted on Instagram.”

  “I had no idea she’d done that. I promise.”

  “For the record, she’s not allowed to be your agent. Find another art agent.”

  “Come on. She’s got great connections and—”

  “No. I mean it, Malik. Not her.” She pouted.

  He sighed. “All right. I’ll find another agent.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Spoiled ass,” he muttered. He kissed her on the lips. Then the chin. Then the neck.

  She wiggled her body, and his hands smoothed down her back to her bottom, where they came to rest, and grabbed handfuls of butt cheeks.

  She groaned.

  “That sound right there—I’ve been missing it.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. You’re in trouble. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Promise?”

  He chuckled and swatted her bottom. “Let’s go.”

  “You have to carry me,” she said.

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m a queen.”

  Malik lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. “You’re my queen.”

  “And you’re my king.”

  “Always.” Her marched toward the door. He nudged her ear with his nose. “No more bullshit, okay?”

  “Okay.” She tugged his beard, which never ceased to arouse him. She barely had to touch him and he became hard.